Between Breaths
by Plantress
Summary: Victus, Garrus and a moment between battles on Menae. Implied FemShep/Garrus


This was originally a scene that was suppose to be in a fic-trade I'm doing. The scene really didn't mesh well with the rest of the fic, however, so I was forced to remove it. I really did like the scene though, so I tweaked it to make it a stand alone ficlet.

O0O0O

Menae was one of the worst battles Garrus had ever been involved in. Oh sure, Saren and the Collectors had been bad, but at least he had know where the goal was with those. Here,there was no goal, no end to the fighting. Just wave after wave of enemies that you hoped you could hold out against until a miracle happened. That was what he kept thinking they were going to need to defeat the Reapers, an outright miracle.

_Surprised I can sleep at all with that on my mind, _was the thought that ran through his mind as he rolled out of his bunk to make way for the next shift to come in for downtime. All personnel currently on the moon had been assigned to various rotating shifts to make sure that there was always someone fighting, and that everyone got some sort of rest. Of course, with the limited space that meant everything was, very, very tightly scheduled. At least that was something the military was good at.

Garrus grabbed his rifle, slung it over his back and headed out of the barracks. His path took him past several other soldiers who were already collapsed into their bunks. _Good old turian discipline; making sure that half of them are sleeping because they were ordered too, and are hell bent on following those orders like a good soldier should. The other half are probably like me; only getting any rest at all because exhaustion is knocking us out. _

For once there wasn't any fighting in the immediate vicinity when he headed out into the main camp. An improvement over ending up in a fire-fight before he even had breakfast he guessed. _How considerate of the Reapers. _ Not that breakfast was anything fancy. He got a ration bar and a bottle of water as he tried not to look up. If he did that, he would see Palaven. Not that you _could _avoid seeing what with it occupying so much of the sky and all, but when you were fighting at least you had something else on your mind. It was the pauses between the gunfire that got to you. Almost everyone here had someone there they were worried over still on the planet. A look up at the reality above you made the whole thing worse.

He set out toward his post as he nibbled at his meager breakfast, and noticed that a couple of the younger soldiers had their heads back, just staring up at the planet. His first thought was to remind them they were suppose to be watching their posts down here. Getting over-run would really not be helpful to anyone on Palaven. Someone should remind them of that.

Then he caught sight of one General Adrien Victus, standing under a shelter with his omnitool open.

He was positive that Victus had still been awake when he had gone off to rest. He was also equally positive that the man had been already been up when Garrus had ended his _last _rest period. Automatically his feet changed course from the soldiers, toward the general.

"Do all military leaders think they're above things like sleep?" he grumbled, not even aware he had spoken aloud until he noticed the curious look of an officer he passed. Great, thinking out loud now. That was going to go over well.

Victus must have seen him coming. The General shifted position, one of his hands coming up to hover over the shut off of the omni-tools controls. "Vakarian," he said by way of greeting.  
What Garrus had been going to say died on his lips as he caught sight of what was on the omni-tool display. He had thought it was combat data at first, but now that he was closer he could see it was a picture, one with only two people in it. One of them was clearly the General himself, but the other...

"Your son?" he said quietly.

Victus paused, taking one last look at the picture. "Yes," he said heavily as he finally closed the display and dropped his arm. "I got word from him a few hours ago. He was assigned a new platoon right before the reapers hit. They managed to make it off Palaven, and there with the fleet now."

The fleet the Reapers were ripping through right at this moment. Garrus understood the worry laced through the Victus' subvocals. No one was safe, not in this war.

"I'm sure he'll be fine," Garrus said awkwardly. It was nothing more than a platitude, they both knew that, but it did seem to mean something to Victus. Or that might have just been because the General had gathered the mask of a leader around him again. Both of them also knew they couldn't afford to let his men sense a moment of weakness. It would kill their moral, and that would be death in a fight like this.

"Thank you," the older turian said softly as he turned around. "I know that you have your own family up there."

That was something Garrus had been trying his hardest not to think about. There was nothing he could do, and feeling helpless was something that he wasn't good at.

"I'm sure they're fine," he said, trying to sound more sure of that then he was. "I'm more worried about what's happening right here. You do realize that if you collapse, the men will..."

"I did remember to catch some rest this time, Vakarian," Victus growled. "I don't need to be remind twice."

"Ah, but did you actually eat anything?" Garrus cocked his head at one of the few turians on the moon who actually had the rank to boss him around. "I mean, the rations taste like they've been in storage since the Krogan rebellions but it's only fair to the men that you suffer through them with the rest of us."

"You are not old enough to be acting like my mother," Victus' subvocals were somewhere between annoyed and amused.  
_Still have the touch I guess, _Garrus thought to himself, wondering if that was some sort of talent. "Well, no, I'm not," he admitted out loud, "but if it will get you to eat I could probably do a decent lecture about how skipping meals will make your plates go dull andyou'll _never _find a mate that way."

That brought a harsh bark of something that might have been laughter form Victus. "Vakarian, that mouth is going to get you in trouble one of these days."  
At least he didn't sound angry about it.

"Oh, it has already. Multiple times. It's a gift," he shrugged. "And I find that it does help me accomplish things. What do you think?"

Victus snorted as he walked passed the younger turian, but Garrus allowed himself a pleased smirk when he saw Victus heading toward the rough mess tent. It seemed that was another talent of his; getting his Commanding officers to remember they needed small things like food and sleep to function.

Unfortunately, when he looked away from Victus, Garrus found his gaze going upward to Palaven. The General's remark about his family flitted through his mind, and mixed with the worries already echoing there. At least Victus had heard from his son. Garrus still hadn't heard anything, and he knew his father. If there was a way for him to contact his son, he would have already done so.

_There could be a million different reasons why he hasn't, _Garrus remind himself as he yanked his gaze down, trying to desperately to find something closer to focus on. Anything that didn't remind him how many, many people were being lost in this war, and that people he knew were among them. His eyes settled on his arm. He hesitated for a fraction of a second, then called up a picture on his own omni-tool, feeling slightly guilty as he did so. It really wasn't much better than staring at the burning planet above him but well...he could understand why Victus had been staring at the portrait of him with his son earlier. It gave you hope, reminded you what you were fighting for.

This picture had been taken shortly after he had arrived back home, and after he had dealt with the inevitable '_Dear Spirits! What did you do to your face!?' _from his mother. Sol had insisted on it, saying they needed a family portrait after all these years. He had to admit it was along time since they had all four been together in a picture. The last one had been done while he had still been in the military. As he gazed at the picture, the thought that it might be the last time he ever saw his family struck him. It was enough to make his heart pulse painfully and his throat close.

No, this had been a bad idea. A very, very _bad _idea. There was a reason he had been trying to avoid thinking about things like that. He couldn't afford to be distracted, not right now. Blindly he reached out, but instead of shutting down the display as he had meant to, he found himself changing the picture to the next one in line. He wasn't sure if that was an improvement or not.

There weren't really any pictures of him and Shepard. At least not of just the two of them alone. Things had been so new between them, and he was still struggling to figure out what they did have, that he hadn't thought to even ask Shepard about it. It wasn't until he got to Menae and saw all the soldiers with pictures of their sweethearts, wives, families, that he realized he really would have liked something like that with here. Instead all he was left with was this picture Kasumi had sent him.

It had been taken during a party right after they had blown the Collector base. In the euphoria of realizing that 'Hey, we're all still alive', someone had thought that raiding the bar would be a good idea. Everyone had ended up getting more than a little drunk. Somewhere in all that, Shepard had ended up in his lap, face half buried in his neck as she laughed at something. He barely remembered that part, and he certainly didn't remember anyone taking a picture of it. It had just showed up in his inbox shortly after they had all split up. He had lost count of the number of times he had looked at it since then. Shepard actually looked happy for one, and he could swear he could almost _hear _her laughter.

"Ah. So that's why you weren't paying attention to Antias' flirting. Half of my men are convinced you really were just that dense."

The unexpected voice from behind him caused Garrus to start and give a small undignified squeak as he shut down the image as fast as possible. He turned around to glare at the General that he had somehow not noticed coming up behind him. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" he hissed. As he tried to process how he had been so stupid as to drop his guard that far, a small part of his mind managed to connect the name Antias to the female Lieutenant that had been hanging around him for the last few days. He honestly hadn't realized she was flirting. Maybe he shouldn't admit that to anyone. Ever.  
"That would make the Reapers happy," Victus observed before quietly saying, "so...Commander Shepard. I had wondered."

"You..had?" that line brought all other thoughts to a screeching halt and Garrus tried to remember what he could have said to have been that obvious.

"Yes, but I wasn't sure," the General admitted. "You never said anything to confirm it when you talked about her."

"I'm not ashamed of it," he said automatically, "but...spirits, you know how much of a shitstorm a relationship like that would cause for her? Particularly with the Bartarians after her blood and the Alliance already barely holding them off? I wasn't about to risk anything that could hurt her reputation, not right then. Besides," he was forced to admit as he found himself shifting nervously. "things were...complicated with us when I last saw her. I didn't want to presume more than she wanted to give." The last part was a heavy admission. They never had discussed what they were to each other. There just hadn't been time. It was one of the things he had come to regret more as this war went on.

"I see," Victus didn't look the least bit surprised. "Don't worry, no one will hear it from me. It's something only you have the right to share."

"...Thank you," he said with as much feeling as he could.

Victus did flare his mandibles slightly in amusement. "But, a piece of advice, Vakarian? Given her reputation, any soldier is more than understanding about why you would want to brag about your time with her. I think most people wouldn't even see anything odd when you talk about her grace on the battlefield. That's something anyone can appreciate. But," and now there was a definite amused rumbled in his subvocals, "if you mention the color of her eyes or the shape of her waist again then someone else will figure out that your feelings go beyond mere admiration. II doubt they will be as...discreet as I am."

Garrus swallowed hard. "I ah, I'll keep that in mind." He hadn't even been _aware _he had brought up the color of her eyes or her damn waist of all things. Why had he been stupid enough to start babbling like..like..._ A proud lover? _His subconscious supplied._ That's what you were reduced to, idiot. Nearly wrecking everything because you're been drawn in that far and you couldn't keep it to yourself. _He knew, in his gut, that the talking had only been to disguise the aching worry that had started up when news of Earth had first reached them. All he could do was hope she got out okay.

Something of his thoughts must have shown though in his eyes because Victus spoke up. "If Commander Shepard is even half the woman that I've heard about, then I'm sure she'll make it off Earth." He stepped closer. "And when you see her again, talk with her. If only for your own peace of mind."

There were a thousand different things that Garrus could think to say to that. After a moment, he decided he would just be a good turian for once.  
"I will, sir. And...thanks."

Victus just flared a grin at him and hefted his gun. "Come on, Vakarian. We still have a war to fight before that can happen."


End file.
